Perhaps it was an accident or perhaps it was a series of “God-incidences”. But, somehow we figured out 5 simple secrets for having an amazing marriage — EVERY DAY. To have a stressful minute is a rarity.
These are the 5 secrets in reverse order of importance:
5. Lots of variety
Make sure you have lots of variety in your life. Do spontaneous things regularly, even really off-the-wall things. On our honeymoon my wife once said, “Let’s make a decision today.” I responded with, “Let’s go to Greece next year.” So, we started planning a trip to Greece and went there the next year.
Even after 47 years of marriage, we still keep doing spontaneous, unexpected things on a regularly basis.
4. Five love languages in an amazing marriage
Get to know the five love languages. Make sure you understand your spouse’s main love language. Use it to tell them you love them every day. Make sure you never miss a day.
3. Consideration & respect
Husbands, treat you wives with consideration and respect so that your prayers will not go unanswered. 1 Peter 3:7
We carried that suggestion a few steps further & try to treat each other with consideration & respect every minute of every day. Notice I said “try to”. That marriage tip is an impossibility to fulfill completely. But, work towards that goal.
2. Read the Bible out loud together
Whenever we buy a new machine or electronic device, it comes with an instruction book. If we read the instruction book, the machine or device will most likely work more effectively.
God designed us. The Holy Bible is His instruction book for how to do life. We read the Bible out loud together about 5 times a week. We read 4 pages of the Old Testament & one chapter of the New Testament.
We get lots of wisdom about how to get along together. Also, just doing devotions together creates a great unity between the two of us.
1. Pray out loud
As you may know, more than half of the marriages in the United States end in divorce. The Focus on the Family people published a statistically valid survey on divorce in America.
It published a number of different scenarios along with the probability of having a divorce for each one. For instance:
- If you get married in a church, the probability of divorce is ___ .
- If you get married by a justice of the peace, the probability of divorce is ___ .
There was one statistic that stood out from the rest. The people who prayed out loud together daily had a one in a thousand chance of getting a divorce.
The couples who pray out loud together have an excellent chance of having an amazing marriage.
Post, May 2019
Once at a wedding reception I told that bride & groom that 60 seconds without love is a whole minute down the toilet.
About a dozen years later that bride told me that they use that concept quite often. When they have a disagreement, one of them reminds the other that it’s foolish to flush a whole minute of love down the toilet.
So, they are very much aware of their love during their conflict and don’t let the conflict reduce their love for each other.