My thoughts on simplification
As I was thinking about how to write a blog post about commitment, I became aware of a truth. Unconsciously my wife & I had decided to be totally committed to our marriage. By doing so we were really simplifying our job of creating a happy marriage.
We knew we were in this until “death do us part”. So, it just made sense to make the best of it and dissolve any differences we had.
As newlyweds, we were committed to having a good marriage. As the years went by, that simple first love evolved into a super precious spiritual union. It would take an unusually skillful poet to be able to describe how wonderful that type of love is.
We became committed to maintaining and even improving upon that new type of love.
Below you will find links to 8 different blog posts. The various posts discuss the different components that combine to create that special spiritual union.
It’s a good idea to be committed to doing multiple little romantic things every day. Learn more about how to do that on the blog post about romance.
To create that special spiritual union love, it is necessary to spend lots of time together. You may want to
- Have coffee together twice a day
- Have devotions regualarly
- Hold & love on each other regularly
To learn much more about spending time together, go to the Time blog post.
Here’s another component for having an exceptionally happy marriage: Regularly spending time alone loving on each other and being very intimate. Read the Intimacy blog post.
Every Marriage 101 course should include these concepts:
- Never let the sun go down on your anger
- If your spouse unknowingly offended you, let them know
- Be QUICK to forgive.
Read more in the Forgiveness blog post.
When you empathize with someone, you understand someone without them explicitly explaining what’s going on. (See dictionary definition.) Practice empathizing with your spouse. Then, if you sense something is wrong, do something to help rectify the situation.
Read more on the Empathy blog post.
Consideration & respect
Making a commitment to treating each other with consideration & respect every minute of every day can do wonders to improve a marriage. See the corresponding blog post.
We all have conflicts once in a while. Read the Conflict blog post to help you overcome conflicts.
5 love languages
After over 3 decades of couples counselling, Dr. Chapman noticed certain patterns in the way couples communicate. He noticed that most of these people express and interpret love in one of 5 ways. He calls them the 5 love languages.
You must communicate using your spouse’s main love language. Find out how on this blog post.
Honouring My Wife
Since I was a child I’ve honoured women. That was just one of my mindsets. It is also one of the reasons why our marriage is so successful.
Too many men observe women as sex objects and ignore the really wonderful qualities they have inside of them.
Read Proverbs 31 starting at verse 10. Look at many examples of how many wonderful qualities a Proverbs 31 woman has. For example, she considers a field and buys it without consulting with her husband.
Because I honour her so much, my wife felt confident to do that once. We heard about a house that was for sale and went to discuss it with the owner. He was very motivated to sell it. It was going up for auction that evening and the owner was the auctioneer. He had a reserve bid (minimum amount he would sell it for). For some reason or another, he told us that he was willing to sell it for $5000 below the reserve bid.
That evening it was raining and very few people went to the auction. I was baby sitting and my wife decided to go to the auction. She bid $5000 below the reserve bid. No one else bid on it and my wife got the house. We did not even have money for a down payment. At the auction she was approached by some men who gave her a second mortgage so that she could take possession of our new house.
I knew nothing about what was going on. When she got home, she told me what she had done. I approved and never had a negative thought about the situation for a second. Now that’s honour.
A few months ago I just happened to massage my wife’s shoulders and then her back. Her comment was that it was probably good for her health. So, I automatically honoured her because I wanted to take care of her health. I started massaging her shoulders and back every day. She told he that I did not have to do every day unless I wanted to. Now she was honouring me.
I’m sure glad that I started honouring my wife. I did not necessarily expect this: The rewards I receive are tremendous.