Lesson 5 of 11
Money
How we combatted our financial problems
Up until about 7 years ago, Linda & I had trouble with money.
There were several years before my stroke when we were making so much money that we never had financial problems. My stroke left me brain damaged for about 15 years. I suppose there is centre in the brain that causes common sense. If that’s true, that centre was definitely adversely affected.
After 15 years, we still were short of money because of all my previous foolish decisions. Finally, about 7 years ago, we took a short course on how to handle our money.
We learned about cutting up our credit cards. The instructor had a huge plexiglass container full of cut up credit cards.
The course taught us about budgeting. We went home and created a budget on a spreadsheet. Using our bank statements, we created lots of different categories in which we spent money.
An interesting category was Eating out. The instructor told us a story about asking a couple how much they spent on eating out. One spouse guessed an amount 2 or 3 times less than the other.
Often we just don’t know how much we spend on a category. When we know how much we spend on a particular category, it’s often much easier to cut back.
After starting to use that spreadsheet, we had way less stress when it came to money.
Living by faith
By this time in our marriage, 2 things had happened in our spiritual life:
- We had had lots of miracles of God in our lives.
- Therefore, we had lots of faith when it came to God protecting us.
One day the Holy Spirit told me to quit my part-time job and live by faith. And living by faith worked.
We wanted to drive to the neighbouring province to visit our kids. We could not afford the gas. Unexpectedly a friend gave us $300 worth of gasoline gift cards.
Another time a granddaughter in that neighbouring province was having a surprise 16th birthday party. We had no intensions in going until a friend of our kids gifted us with 2 airline tickets.
Another time I told someone that we had enough money to cover our November expenses. But, I said, I wonder how we will be able to pay for our grandchildren’s Christmas gifts.
I got an email from the tax department. There was a mistake in my taxes 5 years previous and they deposited just under $600 in our bank account. God is so creative!
Money Should Bring Peace — Not Tension — Into Your Marriage
Learn how couples create financial harmony through trust, clarity, and shared direction — without stress, arguments, or silent pressure.
Why Money Quietly Creates Stress Between Couples
Money is one of the most common sources of tension in marriage — but it rarely shows up as obvious conflict.
It appears in small disagreements… unspoken worries… or the feeling that you’re carrying financial responsibility alone.
Different spending habits, saving priorities, or financial fears can slowly create emotional distance — even when both people care deeply about each other.
Money Problems Are Rarely About Money
Most financial tension is not about numbers.
It’s about trust. Communication. Feeling heard. Feeling safe.
When couples learn how to approach money as a shared experience — instead of a source of pressure — something changes.
Money becomes a place of teamwork instead of tension.
Shared Vision for Money
Peace begins when both partners are moving toward the same future. Instead of separate financial thinking, couples create a shared vision — one that reflects both values and priorities.
Respect in Financial Decisions
Every financial choice carries emotional weight.
When decisions are made with respect — not control — both partners feel valued and included.
Transparency & Trust
Financial peace requires openness.
When there are no hidden concerns, trust grows — and stress fades naturally.
Avoiding Conflict Patterns
Arguments about money often follow the same patterns.
With awareness, couples can replace reaction with calm understanding — and prevent tension before it starts.
Long-Term Security & Peace
True financial peace isn’t about having more — it’s about feeling secure together.
When couples plan calmly for the future, stress is replaced with confidence.
Imagine What Changes When Money Becomes Peaceful
No tension in everyday decisions.
No silent stress about finances.
No feeling alone in responsibility.
Just calm conversations, shared direction, and a sense that you’re building something meaningful together.
This Is Part of a Complete Marriage System
This lesson is one part of an 11-lesson course designed to help couples build lasting peace and connection.
The system is based on simple daily habits:
respect, empathy, communication, intimacy, forgiveness — and financial unity.